Monday, August 31, 2009


Personally, I think society went downhill when women stopped wearing hats, men stopped singing and harmony, and movies stopped including tap-dancing.

Honestly, when I think of America--the GOOD America--I think of the era of Singin' in the Rain. Gene Kelly. Don O'Connor. Debbie Reynolds. Frank Sinatra. Cary Grant. (He's a little further back, but STILL, I would MARRY him.) Men wore trousers. TROUSERS. Pants with a crease, that were actually ON their asses instead of below them. Pants that FIT. And fit soooo nicely. Heehee. But seriously, these pants were awesome, and just tied in witht the whole image of the era. Suspenders, too. They weren't punk back then--they were mainstream awesome. Women didn't leave the house without a hat. An elaborate hat, with pins and bows and flowers and feathers. These hats were the SHIT. There were whole hat-shops for women--whole hat PIN shops for women!--where they could purchase their status-hats that would make them part of high society. Hats were fricking everything back then. Plus, the hats were cute as all get out. And let's face it, hat pins were just gorgeous.

Then there were manners. Women were treated with respect and reverence, even though I know the whole women's-rights thing, the Hollywood dolls were something special. Men didn't grab their asses and say "Hey baby [insert bawdy pick-up line here!]" No, men would lavish the apple of their eye with flowers and gifts and rides in an automobile to the point of utter cheese. I love the "overly forward" characters in movies from back then... the lady-chasers who know the way to a woman's heart--but not the stubborn heroine's! If only the "overly forward" men of today would behave like that, I think I'd just die of contentment.

And the PICTURES! Ah, movies were so beautiful back then. Movies about movies. The Hollywood boom. Amazing songs. Male harmonies in amazing songs. TAP-DANCING. Honestly, even if a movie today has most of the qualities that I listed, you can sure as hell bet it won't have tap dancing. Tap is a dead art in the picture show... a dead art that I mourn every time I watch a musical. Even if, by some measure of obscenely lucky chance, there was a movie with tap-dancing in it, it probably wouldn't have the same all-American charm about it. Forget it, it DEFINITELY wouldn't. There's something special about the soft colors and edges, Debbie Reynold's particular vocal inflection that defined an era's accent, the tap-dancing in rainy streets.. there's something about that era of film-making that was wholesome, classy, and yet wonderfully comedic.

Ah, to live in a time when the phrase "truth, justice, and the American Way" actually meant something. When it wouldn't get you laughed at. Damn, what I'd give to live in the misty world of Hollywood's past.

Fellow bloggers, if proper ladies still wore hats, I'd tip mine to you.


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