Saturday, August 22, 2009

Emotions en Pagaille

Tim: Pixie makes me think I'm a freaking wood sprite.

You know what really pisses me off, even more than tacos? Emo kids. Because emo kids, as a rule, are probably the most whiny, obnoxious species of human on the planet. They don't have legitimate problems. They want attention. And that's bad, because some people really DO have problems.

Emo kids are not actually depressed, because that would render them not-emo. Emo kids are not cutters, as that would also render them not-emo. Emo kids are the people who think that if they act really depressed and say they cut themselves (or actually do cut themselves) because of petty "emotional turmoil" or something, they will get attention, pity, and even fawning admirers. See, I know of a few emo kids in the relative neighborhood. They all dress "dark," experiment with sexuality (not a bad thing, but I have a suspicion that some of them do it for attention), talk to everyone about how they cut, etc. Oh, and some of them read Twilight and think that because they read a pathetic excuse for toilet paper (but it includes "vampires!" that's totally hardcore, right?) that makes them "dark" and gives them dimension, but I'm not even going to GO there.

See, here's my main thing: if you are a real cutter, you probably do not tell people about it. You have a legitimate problem, and need help. Emo kids like to tell people about--or worse "accidentally" show other people--their cuts. Some even go so far as to show people their cuts on purpose, pretend it was an accident, and make up an obviously fake excuse to get attention and pity. They like to show it off, because it proves that they're "hardcore" or that they're actually messed up or something. Well yeah, they're messed up. But in a different way. Emo kids take a real problem, a problem that is horrible and needs help and, yes, pity, and turn it into an attention-seeking device that absolutely disgusts me. Plus, many of the emos that I've been acquainted with like to go further than their circle of friends--they take their attention-seeking to the Internet. Sure, if you have a livejournal (or, in my case) a blogger account that basically nobody reads, an angsty outpouring of sorrow can be therapeutic. But when you go posting your melodramatic shit about "ohh I just want to DIE, look, I CUT myself and I'm so ALONE..." everywhere you can and sending it to your friends, it gets on the verge of "Where is your house? I need to drop a few atomic bombs." (Yes, I have been literally SENT emo melodramatic rants while talking to people, and yes, it is even more pathetic than it sounds when you experience it firsthand. It's like, ok, WHY are you sending this to me? not only did you create the biggest awkward moment ever, but I just want to stab you in the face for having the audacity to pretty much ASK for pity and attention.)

Next gripe I have? Emo poetry. Thou knowest that thou hast achieved true EMO when thou write'st poetry that includes something akin to the phrase "tears of blood" or praises thine razor blades for their sharpness. Honestly. Emotional outpourings into poems are great. I happen to enjoy raw emotion thrown lyrically onto a page, especially sorrow. It's hard-hitting and meaningful. But when you go SO FAR into the melodrama and attention-whoring, I WILL MENTALLY SHANK YOU. Remember this, emo children. Every time you even THINK the phrase "black tears soak my broken soul," you are being mentally SHANKED.

Now let me write my disclaimer. It's totally healthy and fine to vent to your friends when things go badly. It's all right to even vent onto the Internet. But when you go as far as this, it not only gets annoying, but it cheapens people with real problems. If you tell a real cutter or person with suicidal ideation that they're "so emo," that's going to hurt them. Deeply. You're taking their real pain and their real problems and cheapening it into some sort of horrifying fad. That's not OK. So emos, line up for your mental shanking. You deserve it, you whiny attention-whores.

Tata, loves.


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